Pretty Enough to be That Dumb?

I walked in on my 15 year old son doing something just awful...

AWFUL!

Well...

I mean...

He wasn’t doing THAT...

That's normal.

He was...

He was...

He was watching the season premier of Beauty and the Geek with one of his friends.

Oh my!

Now, I am a bit of a wise ass. This we know.

I have been known to say things like, “She’s not pretty enough to be that dumb” or “He’s not pretty enough to suck in the sack.”

Hey, it’s sarcasm. It’s what I do.

Now truth be known, NO man is pretty enough to suck in the sack or be flat out dumb...and that goes for chicks as well.

Now all the studies will say that regardless of what we claim, the human eye trends toward beauty.

Yeah sure.

DERRRR!

The eye is for visual stimulation.

If I am looking at something, I would prefer it to be pretty.

We look at art. We (hopefully) do not talk to it or sleep with it.

I once had a very beautiful boyfriend/fiancé-for-a-week.

(SOOOOOO pretty!)

His body was a piece of art.

However, he was dumber than a box of rocks.

I mean...REALLY not wise and almost zero common sense.

(Did I mention that he was SOOOOOO pretty?)

He also was entirely sub-par in the sex department, though his penis was spectacular. He simply had no idea what to do with it and proved to be un-teachable. He performed cunnilingus like something I had never imagined. Not in a good way. More of a “freak show” way that still puzzles the mind...and the minds of anyone I have attempted to describe it to. If there was ever a way for someone to completely miss the entire point of cunnilingus, it was certainly this man-boy. It was like he was painting a fence…upside down and diagonal. It was maddening.

Needless to say, I broke it off and advised him to date girls just out of college who may not have had an actual orgasm yet and were still in party mode and not yet expecting actual conversation over dinner or at any time.

Now, it did take me longer to break it off, as every time I went to talk to him about it, I would see his pretty little face like a puppy and back down. I did do it though. And it really didn’t take that long.

So walking in on Beauty and the Geek last night, I was intrigued, as I walked in during the interview process with the “beauties”.

Oh boy.

I found myself saying the, “She’s not pretty enough to be that dumb,” comment a lot.

What message was I sending to my son?

I didn’t want him to think that there IS a pretty enough to be that dumb, because there just isn’t.

It’s not like these women were adorable and dumb but huge humanitarians. They were bimbos. Not one of them contributed anything positive to society except premature ejaculations and spontaneous erections for the “geeks”.

Most balanced males that I know want a woman who can at least tie her own shoes.

One chick thought that the sun and moon was the same thing. Literally. She said it right out loud. I heard her.

One of them paid $8,000 for her boob job because she was able to factor in her pretty little head that the amount of money she would save on drinks bought for her by horny men out-weighed the cost of the surgery.

*scratches head*

What?!?!?

What must young girls think if they see this?

Boobies and make-up are all they need?

What message does it send little girls who are a bit unfortunate looking?

“Sucks for you, sweet tits?”

Sadly, both the geeks and the alleged beauties are socially retarded. However, I am just curious enough to watch this train wreck happen.

Ehhh...

Who are we kidding? No I’m not.

Dumb is not sexy. Period.

They brought on a dumb guy this year as a “beauty” and just hearing him speak made my ears bleed.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love a “hot” guy...but he better know how to read, shag, and not think that Mozart composed Beethoven’s 5th.

...Just sayin’.