*DISCLAIMER: If you are a stalker-type individual, Assclown, Ass-monkey, Dicknozzle or some other variation of a socially dysfunctional Ass-hat, reading this blog will cause your retinas to burn straight through the back of your head. Consider yourself warned.
Showing posts with label breast cancer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breast cancer. Show all posts

Monday, February 1, 2010

Tom Needs Therapy


OK...I have to do it. There are simply just too many bikes in my garage at this point. (OK, that is not true, because there is no such thing, but this is a bike that I rarely use and do not see that changing in the near future.)

I typically back off from selling Tom because he is so pretty... That being said, he is so pretty because he never gets ridden and I have learned to simply embrace the cx bike when I ride C'wood. I have come to terms with the fact that I enjoy the love triangle between me, my road bike and my cross bike, and when you add Jay, the kids, and a puppy, there just is not time for more love...unless that love is in the form of more road bikes or more cx bikes.

Tom was purchased in July of 2008 after Carrie Cash dazzled me with a GF 29'er at the dirt crits. I admittedly fell instantly in love with Tom when I saw him. I rode the hell out of him until October 2, 2008 when I purchased my very first cx bike. That was it. (Poor Tom.) I rode him twice in 2009 and put him on my roof this past Saturday with all the intent to ride him in the snow at C'wood because the cx bike is not completely built at current, and as fate would have it, I forgot my helmet and had to trail run instead. I could feel him look at me in disgust and hurt.

I looked at the beautiful Tom and knew that since I cannot afford therapy for him to get over his loathing of Mike Weiss (for selling me those awesome cx bikes) and me (for replacing him and making him feel unloved), the best I could do would be to find him a home in which he would be loved.

Here is a link to his specs:

Tom's Specs

... Tom actually sports a Bontrager race saddle and better tires now. (I'll have to look when I get home.) Also, pedals are not included, as I have loaned or given away all of my spd pedals to friends wishing to try cx racing. Tom came with platforms, but I don't recall taking them when I took delivery of the awesome Tom because I don't like to store junk. I'm sure I can work out finding you some free platforms, though at that point I might actually reconsider selling you the bike at all. (Get real pedals!)

If you require platforms, please come prepared with a good story about how the bike is for your kid, or S.O. who is new to riding, or have a Dr's note handy. (Otherwise I will assume that you have no mtb skills and I simply cannot submit Tom to constant wrecking or someone who isn't actually into riding a bike. That seems unkind.)

Tom is 17.5" (How many men can claim that?) and is a glorious glossy charcoal gray. (Another reason I hesitate to sell him. GF doesn't use this color anymore and I LOVE it.)

OK, now I know at this point it seems like I am going to be a pain in the arse about selling Tom, but I assure you that if you have the coin and convince me that you will actually ride the bike, he is yours.

$500.00 USD.

Here's the catch...(which benefits you and many others)...

I want you send your money here:

"Pay" for Tom here

...and send me a copy of the receipt.

When was the last time you got a bike and a tax write off all at once?

*Please note that I will not ship him, so be prepared to drive/fly/swim or be local.

**There is only ONE bike, so the first receipt from Komen gets it. (This is where common sense would apply and making an agreement with me will work best for you...however, Komen would love to have any extra donations...even if you don't get a bike.)

Kisses, peace, love, and bikes to all...

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Breaking Up


I need you to let me go.

I don't know how to do this with you anymore.

I feel that it has gone on long enough.

We had a good go of it, but clearly we are incompatible.

We agree on nothing.

You are selfish and smothering and mean.

You have brought very little to the table from which I can draw something positive...

I know I sound detached...

I know I sound as if I am not grateful for the things you have taught me, and I need you to know that that is not the case.

I will never forget you.

There will likely never be a day in which I do not think of you...

When I see you with someone else, it will make me unbelievably sad...of this, I am sure.

You had to see this coming.

We were never really a good match.

I was young and was overwhelmed by you.

You were so sure of yourself and knew what you wanted and I was unprepared for how that would make me feel.

I cannot tell you how many times I have almost allowed you to take me over...

Either to completely submit to you or to simply allow your identity to become my own.

I feel stronger now.

I have come to terms with how much pain you have caused me and although I have reached a certain level of acceptance of you in my life, because your selfishness knows no boundaries, I am left with an incredible, palpable anger toward you which can barely be contained.

I don't want to fight with you anymore.

I simply want you to leave.

I don't want you to take anything other than what you came with, as I have shared and given enough over the years.

I don't want this to be ugly.

I do not want a mess.

I simply want you to leave...

...and let me go.

I know it will hurt you at first, but I hope some day you can look back on me as "the one who got away"...

I wish I could say that I love you and that it will all work out for you, but I have to admit, I too am selfish and have never loved you.

I am also so angry and unforgiving that I know that I will do everything in my power to see you fail.

I know this makes me appear to be a bad person, but I'll survive.