The First 24 Hours

Well, the first hour after I came out of surgery was spent emailing/talking to Dirk at Big Shark to get the new Ridley frame.

(He got it! Mostly because he is one of the super coolest cats on the planet and knows how nuts I am. Dirk just gets it.)

Within 20 minutes of walking through the door at the house, Jay arrived with Barry from Ballwin Cycles who had a pretty fantastic vase of wild flowers for me.

Ballwin Cycles.

Flowers.

All boys in that shop. Dirty, wild mountain bikers. Every one of them.

Who would have thunk it? I mean, they do have chocolate there, so I should have known they'd be sweet. Tee hee.

*big hugs to the guys at Ballwin Cycles*

Then Jessi arrived to pick up The Sass' car seat to pick her up from CCL.

I think Jess was a little wigged that I wasn't lying down.

I couldn't.

Whatever they did to me at the hospital had me peeing every time I stopped peeing.

This was tricky because I have two super hot and sexy drains that I have to deal with every time I use the restroom.

Truly, I should have just hooked the laptop up in the bathroom and called it a day.

On top of maneuvering around these tricky little tubes (while bandaged and bound from my stomach to the top of my chest), I also have to drain the little fuckers...and measure the blood to report it to the doctor.

(I cannot tell you what a fun and thrilling experience this is. I mean, if you are ever feeling that your life is lacking luster and adventure, see what you can do about arranging a day where surgeons slice you up and cut things out and then practice their sewing skills on your person.)

Good times!

The best is that they always tell you that you will be a little (WTF?!?!?!) "uncomfortable" for a few days.

Uncomfortable...?

Well...

I suppose that would be true...if I took the super cool pain killers they gave me. However, I have a pain pump for my stomach and that made parts of my legs numb and I really just didn't want any other side effects...and wanted to make sure I knew what was causing what.

I prefer the discomfort if it means I can talk and play with my kids and friends.

I don't know how I would handle having to have people waiting on me...

I have taken the muscle relaxers twice before bed, but they didn't seem to relax anything.

I have to sleep somewhat upright because the stitches pull on my stomach...

I attempted to lay flatish early this morning and that lasted about 46 seconds.

I cannot cough or blow my nose because it rips at my stitches and clearing my throat (which is still somewhat challenged from the tube) is not fun either.

Yesterday morning, I got on the trainer and rode for 30 easy minutes. Small ring. No sweating. I played Kings of Leon to keep me calm and slow.

(I may have mentioned this before, but I loathe the effing trainer...but it's still better than walking.)

Then I dug out every sundress I could find so that I could venture out with the kiddos to sit in the sun as yesterday was positively beautiful and I was getting in a funk watching the cyclists ride past my window.

This is where the day went downhill pretty fast.

I had to change my padding...which meant I had to see what they did to me.

I nearly lost it.

I know what they did was good...but the youngish woman in me did NOT embrace the Frankenstein which has become my body...even though the oldish woman in me was trying to be practical with comfortable sundresses to cover the drains and pain pump.

Trying to re-wrap and bind the mess was tricky.

I needed range of motion in my arms to pull the binding and hold it in place, yet I had none due to the stitches across my chest. What a fucking mess.

Once I had the wife beater (to cover the breast bandages) and the sundress on, I looked at the freakshow in the mirror and started to sob.

I know it's superficial. I know. Reality is what it is.

Thank goddess for Ty, who always knows how to make me feel better when I am sad over stupid things like this. (Some girl is going to be very lucky, because he has just enough brat to make him not "too nice". lol)

Jessi arrived just then, so she was lucky enough to see the meltdown too. It was pretty fantastic. Initially she assumed I was upset because my dress was an unflattering color of fuchsia. What can I say?

We went out to Kaldi's to have a yummy lunch in the warm sun, but I can only do liquids, so that didn't work out as well as I would have preferred, with exception to the conversation...which was pretty awesome.

Next, to the store and the odd looks from people trying to figure out if I was simply pregnant with some weird space baby or if I was "one of those people" who had decided that although I was born a women, now needed testicles.

(*Note: The term "one of those people" would be speaking from the minds of the closed minded majority in conformist Chesterfield and not my own personal opinion on the particular topic. Please also note that word "majority" was used, not "all".)

Walking around the Target looking for sundresses, wife beaters, and boy shorts to help hold in my bandages proved exhausting and more than I should have done physically on my first day...

Plus, I just sort of think Target on a Saturday without surgery is a bit exhausting, so there's that.

When I got home, I agreed to take a muscle relaxer, but not a pain killer and tried to rest.

My mind refused to shut down...until some time after 8, so I got a nap between Jessi leaving and Jay arriving, which Jay estimated to be about 30 mins since I had spoken to him before the nap as he was getting on the highway.

That's not a good nap.

Jay helped prepare pizza for the kids who had had a late lunch and then we all sort of veg'd.

That was pretty much it. It sorta sucked and sorta didn't.

Today, I will attempt a walk with Ty while Sassy goes to play with some friends doing bumper boats and miniature golf.

I have to admit, I'm a little envious.