Up, Spin, Spin, Up, Down, Ouch, Yay!

Well it's been a helluva few days, week, whatever.

We all know I got back on the bike the day after surgery.

All went well.

I got on the trainer on day 2 as well, for a little longer and worked some yoga movements for the arms, as I was not yet able to reach handlebars.

It was tricky, but seemed to really help.

As much as I was making physical progress, there were some emotional setbacks along the way.

I continued to have a meltdown when alone and looking at my bruised and torn body.

Would I ever look human again?

I went back to work that Monday.

That was trickier.

I didn't make it through the entire day and stayed off the bike.

Mentally, I was feeling pretty exhausted.

Tuesday, I attempted to repeat Monday, but felt pretty awful and nauseous.

I went home.

When I got there, I knew I needed Jay's help.

One minute I was talking to him, the next there where paramedics standing over me putting on oxygen mask on my face...

We all vaguely bickered about whether I was or was not going for a ride in the magical bus, and ultimately, I conceded just to shut them up.

I knew I was OK, but stressed.

I needed rest.

It was the reason I left work.

Now I was not getting rest but was being poked and prodded and on my way to a cold and sterile room and being charged for the experience.

Some people may like the whole drama of an ambulance, but I prefer to drive myself places.

I drove myself to the hospital when I was in labor with The Sass (after first going into the office to close out a couple of files).

The bus with the pretty lights just isn't worth it for a non-emergency...but the main dude did not believe that if left to drive myself to the hospital for them to tell me that I was fine, that I would actually go. (He's pretty smart.)

Cristel came to get me (after I let them do an EKG and make sure I wasn't dying) and brought me some shoes, which Jay didn't seem to think I would need.

(Boys!)

I made her take me to a bike shop so I could get my fix.

(Luckily, she had her bike with her and it needed something done to it or they may have thought we were just weird.)

Mostly I simply enjoyed terrorizing the conservative people of Chesterfield with my vial of blood and raised eyebrow like I may or may not be a vampire.

That made me smile a bit more than it should have.

I don't really remember Wednesday, except Kathleen bought my TT bike so that I could buy the new Ridley frame and Cristel took The Sass to the farm.

Thursday, I got my stupid drains and empty pain pump removed.

I looked a little less than alien that day.

I immediately loaded Trent up and took him to Castlewood for an easy spin on the pavement (and away from traffic) while Jay rode his 'cross bike.

I felt pretty great.

I slipped it into the big ring as my iPod played on and life was good for 26 whole minutes!

It was awesome!

Fearing that I might be overdoing it...

*shakes head in amusement*

...I called it a day.

I was feeling pretty darn spunky when we got home and flaunted my tubeless, drainless ass around the bedroom like I was a Victoria's Secret model.

Luckily, Jay was in the bathroom and missed that.

(That wouldn't be as bad as if he busted me practicing my podium stances...but that's actually funny and my friends know I have done it.)

Hey, a girl has to be prepared for a win, ya know?!?!

So Friday dawned with me feeling not so hot, so I worked remotely and rested for the big night ahead...

The start of the Gateway Cup at Lafayette Square.

Judy and I loaded our bikes thinking we would squeeze in an easy spin after the Women's 3/4 race, but that proved to be pretty funny.

It was a long night and I did well for a good while, but then hit a wall pretty fast.

Something didn't feel right and everything hurt.

I couldn't stand or sit and started to get that slightly panicked feeling.

I texted Jay on my way home, but it seemed I would beat him home by a good bit and was nervous.

When I got home, I noticed that I was retaining fluid at the incision site.

It effing hurt!

I was feverish and sore and went to bed.

The next day, I laid there for a while...but by noon started to wig out and contacted the surgeon's service.

3 and a half hours later...he called me back.

(After 4 calls to the service.)

As you can imagine, I was pretty happy by this point.

He called in a script for antibiotics and said he would aspirate on Tuesday.

TUESDAY!

That was a lot of days away considering how much fluid was filling up.

I imagined myself as Violet Beauregarde from Willy Wonka...

I didn't want to be a big giant bruised ball on Tuesday!!!

Hey mister, I have a boyfriend! There is only so much I can hide from him and turning into a giant fucking blueberry is not one of them!

Sunday I was bigger.

saWEEEEEET!

One thing I always hoped was that I would live a healthy and active lifestyle so that overnight I could look like a Teletubbie and feel like a piece of freshly tenderized veal.

Good times!

I ended up at the ER because the incision site was clearly infected and there was no way I was going to make it until Tuesday to be aspirated...

Turns out it was a "good" thing that I went to the ER, because a CAT scan showed that I have a cyst in one of my ovaries and that a kidney is dilated...

(I was pretty excited about that news myself and can't wait to jump into that nightmare...)

I then took a taxi to another hospital where my surgeon could perform and had agreed to aspirate...

When he saw me, he was glad I had gone in.

Ummmm....DERRRR! That's why I was calling you the day before!

He said, "I should have known something was actually wrong. Someone who gets on their bike the day after surgery generally isn't a complainer."

Ummm...again....DERRRRR!

I said, "Well, if we were dating I would be, but we're not and you charge by the hour, so I'm actually sick."

This was funny.

I asked him if he wanted me to take it easy and lay around for a few days and he said, "NO! You're a clotter. You need to stay active your blood will thicken."

I said, "You had me at 'No!'"

However, I went home and rested.

That had been 7 stressful hours.

Monday was the final day of the Gateway Cup and the start of The Tour of Missouri.

And while I knew I would miss the Women's 3/4 race at 7am, I had to get down there to meet my ex and pick up The Sass.

I made it down right after the Pro Women finished racing.

I found my friends and before I could set my stuff down, my phone rang.

It was Jessi.

Brooke Miller wanted to present me with a jersey and would I be OK with that.

(I love Brooke, so if she wanted to give me a spider tied to a kitten on stage, I'd probably at least accept it and figure it out later.)

*Note: Cory does not like cats or spiders but would never cause harm to either and simply just tries to stay away from them.

Having been out of the loop all weekend, I had not realized that Brooke had swept the series and that she was going to be presenting me THE jersey...

The "Hey look at me kicking your asses, Bitches" jersey...

I think technically it's called the Leader's jersey, but, yep...that's what was going on.

By the time I realized this, I had already said yes and was now nervous as shit and wishing I had:

• not let my hair air dry that morning
• not worn a men's Fruit of the Loom wife beater
• worn my team tank top
• put on mascara

I was a mess.

...and it was hot.

...and there were a LOT of friggin' people there because it was going on during the main race.

Stacie gave me a bottle of ice cold water to put between my legs...

...to cool off.

(Seriously? I know where you went with that for a minute and shame on you!)

Then it happened...

Brooke was given the jersey for winning everything and then (although she said she wouldn't do it) she got me up there with her and made everyone cry.

It was awesome!

You sort of have to go to that link because the story and video are there and it's pretty cool...

Sooooo...

After almost 2 weeks of ups and downs, I hopped on my 'cross bike Tuesday and went to practice.

I rode my road bike yesterday and gently reintroduced myself to some West Co hills...and then got hit in the incision by a giant horse head...

(If you are a dude, this is like a Louisville Slugger to your man junk. It effing SUCKS!)

Today, the Ridley is ready...so I will test it out at practice tonight and see how that all goes...

What I do know, is that it clearly will take more than sawing me in half to keep me down...at least for very long.

Freddy Krueger, you've met your fucking match.

Bring it!