*DISCLAIMER: If you are a stalker-type individual, Assclown, Ass-monkey, Dicknozzle or some other variation of a socially dysfunctional Ass-hat, reading this blog will cause your retinas to burn straight through the back of your head. Consider yourself warned.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

10 Things Overheard on an MTB Adventure with Cory & Lisa

10. "...So this next trail has some descents, but nothing too tricky..." (Heard by Lisa just prior to them sliding down Cardiac.)

9. "Well...Adrienne said I needed to work on my descents...I'm not sure she meant this though..." (Cory laughing as her cross bike bombs down fast and furious descent.)

8. "...Did you hear me scream? I was hoping I had a better story for you other than a cute and fuzzy squirrel almost got sliced in my spokes thus wrecking me off that cliff. That's a little embarrassing..." (Said to Lisa after a suicidal squirrel made a go for it while I was riding the edge.)

7. "Fuck! Owwwww! Shit! Damn!! That hurt! ...Yep, this is still better than marriage...at least my marriage!" (Said to Lisa just after the big pedal-knee slap down during losing battle with tree limb.)

6. "I'm sorry...what? I couldn't hear you over my breathing..." (Said by Lisa after being *tricked* by Cory to ride Love.)

5. "I had to stop. I lost my sunglasses in my boobs..." (Said by Lisa after rough ride caused glasses to slip a bit. )

4. "Hey! I think I may have this whole 'fear thing' conquered!" (Said to Lisa just before #3)

3. "Hey! That was almost an endo!!!" (Said to Lisa after a descent into a hairpin when I had thankfully unclipped my foot fast enough to ground myself while Christian went flying and only barely dragged me to the ground.)

2. *OOOOF!* "Cookie check...Yep, it's still there!" (Said by Cory after smacking hoo-ha on stem while out of the saddle on a climb...and slipped.)

1. "Yep, I am for sure going to bleed today!" (Said by Cory after semi-brilliant decision to defy gravity/physics and ride cross bike down Cardiac.)

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