Shut Up and Drive

Back in the day when I decided to throw myself back into the dating pool, I was pretty naive about what to expect. I was 23. I was in Ft. Lauderdale. I was terrified.

It had been 3 years since I had dated someone and I was ready. So I thought.

I was a mommy. I had a good job. I was lonely.

A girl in my department whom I had become friendly with, Alexa, suggested we hit the clubs.

Since I loved to dance, I agreed.

On one of these nights when we hit our favorite spot we run into a group of guys, some of whom she knows.

A rather good looking Val Kilmer-type starts chatting with me.

(You should know that I had an obnoxiously ridiculous crush on Val Kilmer at the time.)

At the end of the night, Val asks for my number. I give it to him. Hey, Alexa knows him and he is hot. I feel safe.

Val calls. We schedule a date. We go on a date. We go back to his place. We watch a movie. We make out. (Yes, I am like 12 in my head.) I go home.

He called me and asked me out again.

I must admit, I scratched my head.

Seriously?

B-b-b-b-b-but I hadn't slept with him!

Why does he want to go out with me again?

I can't do that twice!

I can't get dressed up to go out with a boy twice!

I do.

We have fun.

He asks me out again.

I am starting to like him.

We go out the third time and go back to his place.

The fooling around gets a bit heated.

We are on his couch.

Things are coming off.

Places are getting wet.

Hey! I remember this!

Val strips down and exposed a pretty spectacular body and stands in front of me.

He lays me down on the couch and kisses me from head to toes.

There he stops.

He takes my French pedicured tootsies and places each toe delicately in his mouth...

If you know me, you can imagine the raised eyebrow look on my face. Mouth slightly agape in pure curiosity and stupefaction at this point.

It feels a little slimy.

I think to myself, "What the hell has been going on with sex in the past few years? Have I been asleep?"

Yeah. I had been.

He is licking and sucking my toes and starts stroking himself at the same time.

Here is where my having a poker face would have come in handy. However, I would not perfect that until some 8 years later...

He lowers my foot to his cock and starts massaging my foot with it.

OK, I know he wasn't really massaging my foot, but I was in my happy place. It was my preferred thought.

Then he speaks...

His voice husky and panting...

"Cor, I want you to drive me."

"Ummmm...huh?" My voice is far from husky or sexy at that point. I'm a little freaked out. Unfortunately, this makes my voice sound tiny and sweet. Dammit!

He comes forward and whispers in my ear. His hot breath making my skin tingle and my nipples rise.

"I want you to drive me...." he whispers.

What the fuck does that MEAN?!?!?

I search through my head for slang sex terms. I never heard that one. Crap! I don't even know what "69" is at this point. FUCK! What does he mean?!?!

I fake confidence and whisper back in what I think is a coy manner, "I'll do what you want, but I want you to show me exactly what you want."

Yeah, I think. That sounded good. That sounded convincing.

He smiles. Had I not been so full of myself at that exact moment, I may have taken notice to how creepy he looked just then.

He slides down me and kneels at my feet on the couch.

He takes my foot and puts it back on his cock.

My eyes don't leave his face. His eyes stare at my foot and his cock. I am watching him watch my foot and his dick. Fascinating.

He looks at me and says, "Drive".

I start to speak and he cuts me off.

"Drive my dick like you would drive a car."

Crap! I have a stick shift!

Is he thinking with my hands or feet?

Do I use his dick like a shifter?

Or do I use it like the pedals?

Is one ball the clutch and the other the brake?

Does he realize how hard New Yorkers ride the brake?

Will that hurt?

"Cor, use your feet and drive my cock," he says a bit more forcefully.

I do not know whether to laugh, cry or get up and run.

I start using his dick as my accelerator.

"Make the sounds, Cor..."

Is he fucking serious?

I make car sounds while playing with my son! I cannot make those sounds while driving some freak's dick! Who does this?!?!

He starts making the sounds. I start making a game of it and shift my imaginary shifter and steer my imaginary steering wheel.

"Make the sounds, Cor."

"Val, I can't make those sounds."

He grinds my foot into his cock, "Drive!"

I feel that I should explain. (Of course I should not explain, but I am young and stupid and still in my cute "aiming to please" phase in life.)

"Cory!" He cuts me off.

"Y-y-y-yes...?" I stutter.

"Shut up and DRIVE!" he growls. "I'm about to cum!"

He does. All over my pretty toes.

Yuck!

I snap.

I use the brake at just that moment.

"SCREEEEECH!....CRASSSSHHHHHHH!"

I get up.

He looks at me with his lip out.

What is he, 2?

I walk out and finish putting on my stuff in the hallway.

I walk a few blocks to the beach and soak my feet.

I find a taxi, get in and give my address.

I look like a wreck.

This should be no new thing for a cab driver in South Florida.

He starts talking to me in Spanish. I think he assumes that I am Latin.

I am too tired to attempt to figure out what he is saying, so I just mumble, "Shut up and drive."

I find this funny after a moment.

I start giggling uncontrollably.

The cab driver is looking at me in the mirror like I have lost my mind.

I had never been so happy to not drive in my life.