Buddha Ballbuster Bashes the Bullshit

I've got balls.

Figuratively.

This is a known fact.

I'm a little bit scary. Even to myself sometimes. Sometimes I am just completely incapable of bullshit, so I just grab my ankles, pray, and let the truth fly...

Not everyone appreciates a visit from the "Kick-To-The-Balls Fairy".

Some people like to receive the truth like it's a yummy Fluffernutter sandwich... Extra Fluff and light on the mashed nuts.

I am the complete opposite. You can throw the shit at me for all I care, just get it over with.

I know I didn't always feel this way, but I think as you get older, you should not have to have people hold your hand through daily life. It gets easier to hear the truth and suddenly, there you are.

Now, there are plenty of people out there who have a lot more going on than me and there are plenty of people out there who have a helluva lot less going on than me too. And it is usually the latter mentioned fucktards who have the issues in developing their "coping skills".

I'm not going to lie, if you use your childhood, abuse, recovery, stupidity, etc. as a crutch, after so long I will tell you to shit or get off the pot. If you cry like a bitch about it and act like an emotionally crippled freakshow I will possibly crucify you.

No. Not literally.

And no, not intentionally. But the fact of the matter is that people should not have to pussyfoot around you and skirt the truth because you have been deemed incapable of hearing it.

Why should your emotional shortcomings be everyone else's problems?

Why should we have to "thin the truth" to make you feel better about your poor life choices and destructively unhealthy behavior?

You are an adult. You know the difference between right and wrong. Why should people have to explain it to you?

Saying that you know you are wrong but continuing to engage in the same behavior repeatedly is cute for like 2 minutes...

...if that...

Honestly, there are bigger problems in the world and universe than your perverse little issues. People need to seek their own happiness and stop expecting it to be gift wrapped and delivered to their door.

I fear there is not enough Fluff on the planet to deliver such a truth... but I have been known to be wrong.

I assure you, it is no one's fault that you lack the respect and self worth to make the positive changes you need to make in your life.

I assure you that no one will benefit more than you by making those changes.

Until you make the decision to do so, get a vibrator. They can't have kids, don't drink like fish, and will only fuck your friends if you let them.

Social Distortion...?

Scenario:

A group of friends decides to get together and hang out. At that hang out, a few discuss another hang out. Not every single friend of all attendees was invited to either or both events. People who were not included call others who were in attendance and make their complaints known at what they consider a social snub.

Which of the following is more rude?

1. Getting a few friends together for a casual get-together without making a big ordeal of it?

or...

2. Acting like the kid who got picked last for dodge ball in elementary school and making a big ordeal and turning a non-issue into something that is now a source of pain for you even though your unknown insecurity was not a consideration of innocent people who planned to simply sit down and eat a meal and relax?

Is it not possible for any combination of friends to do something without it being extended to the entire group?

Once you are part of a group of friends, are you suddenly part of a bee colony that must swarm together at all times?

Is it not possible that certain members of the group have developed closer or even simply different friendships with other members of the group?

Does every event now have to be stressed about and planned with the group in its entirety's feelings before executing a plan?

What then if all members of the group are invited to everything and then someone wants to do something else?

Is that insulting the group?

What if more people from the group want to do the alternate activity?

Is that mutiny?

Should people who are invited but do not show to events that would be of little interest to them be marked against for their poor percentage of attendance?

Is the distance they must travel considered in the attendance statistics?

If someone bitches about not being invited and you are not the host, should you invite the person because you like the person?

Does a person not have a right to decide who they do and do not want at their home and how many people they want to buy food and party favors for?

Should budgets and size of venue be tossed out the window?

Is it not possible to like someone but want to spend quality time with another friend without there being fears that you are no longer liked?

I realize that when it comes to me, for the most part, you will know in a New York minute if I do not like you.

And I realize that it is more difficult to tell with other people because they are more "accommodating" of this candyassed whiney bullshit than me in many scenarios...

But let's say it is me.

If I don't like you, you will know. Why would you freak out if I do something that doesn't include you?

Now that you have pulled this bullshit, I may not like you. I have a pre-schooler at home, so unless you come with a sizable tax-beni, I'm not having it, pumpkin.

And let's say it's not me.

If you think that the people with whom you are friends are so cold, calculating, and hurtful as to intentionally leave you out specifically to rip open the wounds of school days long gone by, why be friends with them?

Be honest...

*leans in closer and whispers with a raised eyebrow*

It all seems a bit silly at this moment, doesn't it?