"I love you", he said.
"I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"Wonderful", she thought to herself with a deep and saddened sigh. Just the words she was hoping to never hear from him...again.
Why could he not get this through his head?
Though he often dumped his emotions on her guarded and unwelcoming lap, she was finally at a snapping point.
She was in love with someone else.
Had been for some time.
He had never understood this.
He had never cared that she was not interested in him. He simply wanted her.
She was an object.
Something he needed to possess.
He is a man who gets what he wants and his inability to have her was driving him mad...and driving him to drink.
The latter was a sore point with her as well...which only made him do it more.
It drove him mad to imagine her laying next to another man at night.
He obsessed over the things that they did and the life that she lead with this other man.
Every day he would make feeble attempts at tearing the other man down.
It pleased him somewhat if she seemed sad or contemplative on any given day.
This encouraged him.
He wanted to believe he was the fixer of all things, as most issues could be bought away...at least in his mind.
He had met his match.
Every attempt to buy her happiness was met with anger and frustration.
Every display of misguided affection was slapped away.
She was not a thing.
She would not be had.
He was losing her.
He was losing the little bit of her that he had.
This awareness was the small bit of happiness that she experienced in his presence anymore.
The awareness grew day by day and crept across her face in a slow and amused smile as subtle as the rising sun.
She was winning.
She would soon be free.
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"He" has NO idea what the word "love" means-I hope this issue will get resolved for you. You deserve better:) Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI agree...and thank you. ;-)
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I want to make sure that for the record...for those who read my blogs but are not close enough to know all details...This blog is not about Jay. I shouldn't even have to state that, but people removed from a situation or do not know you personally tend to have imaginations.
This blog is about a man who believes he loves but truly only seeks to possess. It is about an obsession. An unhealthy one. So unhealthy that I cannot even begin to be flattered by such attention.
He sought to destroy another of my relationships before Jay as well. When I met Jay, he encouraged the relationship and I had thought he had finally let go. He hasn't. It has gone on for years.