*DISCLAIMER: If you are a stalker-type individual, Assclown, Ass-monkey, Dicknozzle or some other variation of a socially dysfunctional Ass-hat, reading this blog will cause your retinas to burn straight through the back of your head. Consider yourself warned.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

How I Survived the Off-Season - Tales of a Road Racing Noob



I'm not fast.

I'm not strong.

I'm not particularly graceful.

I met my boyfriend while racing.

He is strong. He is fast. He is also not particularly graceful.

We are both cycling addicts.

We both admire each others scars, bruises, and injuries.

During cyclocross it seemed as if we might be competing to see who could lose the most blood.

He won.

Not that we have nothing else in common, but to say that the off-season was "tricky" would be an understatement.

We're sick. We get turned on when we see each other in gear.

(What can I say?)

There is no "gear" in the off-season.

Just holidays.

Days upon days of sitting with other people eating and NOT riding our bikes.

Parties. High calorie adult beverages.

Oy!

Sooooooo...the first race of the season was this past weekend. Holy hell!

I'm glad we are back in the season and yet amused and surprised that Jay and I did not kill each other in the off-season. If we can survive the off-season, I'm pretty sure we're wicked talented.

By the time we left Cross Nats in December, "it" had started. The heaviness that racing was all over for a while. What the hell were we going to do with each other if not ride bikes, wreck bikes, and get bloody?!?!?

There's really only so much sex you can have with 2 kids and 2 people running 2 different companies...but I feel that we made a good showing.

*snicker*

We finished out December "alright", but by January 5th, I'm pretty sure beating the crap out of each other crossed our minds at least once a day. Luckily, we are pretty good at doing that without actually doing that.

As we started to get our training plans worked out and we both started getting some time back in the saddle, we lightened up...a little.

As we thawed out a bit and began to geek out and drool over new bikes and new bike components, we started to laugh more...again.

I mean let's face it, when 2 people have the same outlet and that outlet is unavailable, things can get sticky. For me, I just wanted to be outside and off the damn rollers. I wanted to MOVE. Cycling in a box is simply not fun. Cycling in a box with other people in the room is even worse. I was ready to claw the walls.

Then...

...The Froze Toes road race was upon us.

There we were, laying in bed...excited...errrr...about racing.

Yeahhhhhhh....

Well, we were, but we enjoy each other too...and were in the middle of that enjoyment when my phone went off.

*sounds of stuff being knocked over and lots of shuffling mixed with cuss words*

Uh oh!

My teammate, Kube was at my house early for our carpool to the race.

SaWEEEET!

*Thinks "DOH!" in head and smacks self*

That's the end of that and we scurry about trying to get showered and dressed so she doesn't have to sit in her car too long.

We pack up all our necessities and load up my velo wagon.

We are on our way!

As the 3 of us somehow get dressed in the car at the same time, I am wickedly happy that we are getting ready to race and not simply going on a ride. That happiness which has escaped me for a couple months is back.

...wait...

Oh my!

...How...?

...What...?

I'm HAPPY to be RACING!

When the hell did THAT happen?!?!?

I cried at EVERY race last year (Yes. every. race.)

...and I used some choice vocabulary while talking to myself during said races...

But here I was, positively giddy with excitement!

I wasn't even nervous!

I was happy to see my friends with whom I started this racing adventure last April.

There we were...Team Revolution girls...all wearing different kits, but still the same connection.

We had all come so far and some had gotten pretty effing fast!

(Not me, but I'm not done yet!)

During the race, I felt pretty strong...and happy.

WTF?

Somewhere close to mile 12, while positioned where my coach wanted me in the pack, I look over at Stephanie. We have been through a LOT of stuff in this crazy cycling world during the past year.

Would I even be out here if not for her?

She has no idea what she's done for me over the past year...

She has no idea how proud I am to be racing next to her in the pack...even for a short while...

I am overwhelmed with emotion at that exact moment and while harps and tambourines play in my head (or maybe it was Blur's "Song 2"...?) I joke briefly to Steph about it being the longest I've ever been in a race with her and she says something too kind in response. That response tore me up...because it's not true.

She said I was a badass racer this year.

*gulp*

I'm not...

...but maybe I will be...I really don't know, but I'm tryin'.

Later in the race as I am having my ass handed to me by a nice serving of headwinds, Jay and his field breeze by as if they are on a Saturday afternoon casual ride. I swear to goddess not one of those effers was even breathing hard!

Bastards!

If not for Jay smackin' my butt and calling out love, I may have cried. As it was, I didn't...but started laughing at Buddy's instructions to our field before our race that we are NOT allowed to work with them when they pass us. Yeah. Sure. Us Cat 4 women are just gonna jump right the hell on the back of the Pro 1,2's.

There were 2 defining moments for me in this race. Moments in which it was clear to me that I am not the same girl I was last year. Moments where it was abundantly clear, at least to me, that I am not giving "you" what you want simply because you want it. If you want it, you better take it from me because I'm not handing it over to you.

The first moment was earlyish on while we were still a defined pack. "That one team" had a lot of chatter going on and at one point one teammate pointed at the inch between my front wheel and another racer's rear wheel and told her teammate to take that spot. When she started moving over, I made it very clear to her (without saying a word or leaving a mark) that she was not getting that wheel.

I had to smirk a little. Last year I probably would have pulled back and let her in out of some bizarre courtesy. (Yeah...I was afraid of my own shadow last year.)

The second moment for me involved a "race within the race" thing going on between me and one other racer. (There were actually other people behind me besides her, but I didn't even know that until the next day and that made me SQUEAL!)

I had a decent lead on her. Enough to actually stop and work out a cramp...

*scratches head at why I do these things*

That is when she passed me.

And that moment was the exact moment that I knew things were different. I looked at her for a second and the "old me" almost said, "OK. There she goes..." However, I had already been dropped by the pack and lapped by my boyfriend, I was kicking this girl's ass. Period.

She didn't get too far. We came into turn 4 and the volunteers yelled at me, "Chase her down!" I laughed and said, "I am! Watch!"

(Pretty cocky for a chick who got her ass kicked by wind and who had snot and spit all over her face and race kit, ehhh?)

However, once through the turn, there was a climb and THAT is where it happened. (The ONE thing I learned how to do last year was CLIMB!)

I pass her and as I do, I tell her I'm on her left and joke that I won't be there long. She says not to count on it because she sucks on hills. Then I feel bad for her and almost (ALMOST) hang back to ride in with her.

I remember that it's a race and not a no-drop ride and that I am supposed to beat her. (Dammit!)

I would like to say that music played and we had a Sean Penn moment where we crossed the finish line with our arms linked, but that didn't happen.

Once I passed her, she was out of my mind and after a short while, out of my line of vision when I looked behind me.

I had my second wind.

I could see the finish!

I could see Jay rolling back to the car with his spare wheels and sped up so he wasn't out in the cold too long.

My teammate, Kube is at the finish waiting for me.

We roll back to the car where I see Jay and smile.

Then I cry. Finally.

Holy hell!

I did it!

I didn't drop out!

I didn't wreck!

I didn't die!

Jay and I don't have to say much. He knows. And I love him for it.

No comments:

Post a Comment