I don't care how stupid it seems...I am throwing a post-race, on site, mini-party for myself when I finish the Gateway Tilles Crit this Sunday.
I know I'm a lowly Cat 4 woman.
I know I'm not a badass.
What I also know is that I am going to do MUCH better in that race this year than I did last year.
(Not that I need to try too hard to accomplish that...)
What I do have this year that I didn't actually really have last year was:
- a true desire to race
- knowledge about how this whole "crit thing" works
- the confidence to suck and the ability to do it with flare
The whole "sucking in a circle" thing really wigged me out last year.
This year, I sort of enjoy it.
I think psychocross had a lot to do with me getting over this.
I don't enjoy sucking in a race, but I don't let it beat the shit out of me like I did last year.
I learned that the race is not my mom and that it doesn't care if I suck, so long as I am there.
*waves at Mom*
This year, my expectations are much lower than they were last year when I foolishly believed that magical rays of light were going to simply push me around the course where I would not win, but certainly do well.
*snicker*
I did NOT do well.
At. All.
It was the first of two races that convinced me that Satan was real.
*shakes head*
This year, I am racing the Hillsoboro Roubaix the day before Tilles, so if I somehow suck worse than last year (not possible without me actually dropping dead on the course), I will of course use Hillsboro as my scapegoat.
What? Did you think I was above excuses???
That being said, once I cross the finish at Tilles (and do my standard "Holy shit! I finished" dance of pain and tears) there will be a celebration!
I will have portable "parties" to share with my friends (and Powerade for Steph) at the Velo Wagon.
See you there!
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