Cougarnevawanabe

Holy shit!

My former assistant just emailed me.

Said he "heard" I was being a bit of a cougar these days...

J, I'm just gonna say that you are lucky we're tight and that we've talked some crazy shit over sushi and that you smell good and are pretty, my friend! lol

I am not now nor will I ever be a fucking Cougar!

1. Cougar: An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf.
   


2. Cougar: An older woman trying way too hard to look young. Usually heavy makeup and way too tan, sometimes orange. Generally has leathery, smoking damaged skin, short skirt, and may have obvious breast implants.
   


3. Cougar: (see also hunt, prowl, corner, pounce). Noun. A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. "Man is cougar's number one prey".
   

It goes on...

Holy shit...holy shit...holy shit!

I know some of these "cougars" you speak of, J!

If I am EVER one of them, please run me over repeatedly with a 2nd generation Hummer!

I dabbled in the young guy thing ONE time...and he was only 5 years younger for hell's sake...
He may have acted 12, but he was 29!!!!!

He owned a house and got the age discount on his car insurance!

I also learned from that and Det. Wookie Bush that under 30 is too young and that over 50 is too sad...for ME!

I realize I am no kitten...

But I am a perhaps a well behaved in the peak of her life cat who is playful and shits when and where it is appropriate. A 5 year old Applehead Siamese, if you will...